Vanity

1 Timothy 4: 7-8 - "On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come."

Since it is the summer break and I have nothing to do besides work 40 hours a week, I have been working out more than I normally do. Now, this is not really a bad thing but it does have potential to be harmful, not to my physical self but to my spiritual one. People who know me understand that when I start doing something, I throw myself completely into it. Like for instance, when I am reading a pretty engrossing book it is very hard to get my attention or that I do not like to be interrupted when I am watching a movie. I think this is because when I am doing something that really interests me, I do not want to miss even one little aspect of it. Now how does this pertain to working out you say, well I think that, for me, it is easy to fall into the temptation of letting working out become so important to me that I lose sight of what is really important. That is why the verse in 1st Timothy really connects with me. When I pursue godliness above all else, and in turn Christ himself, my priorities do not stray from where they should be, but when I begin to pursue something else with greater gusto than I pursue godliness, my priorities get screwed up. This, in turn, leads to struggles in my relationship with the Lord, Bonnie, my family, friends, and sin. This directs me to the reason for the title of this post, vanity. We always hear of women struggling with vanity and self image, but I think that this is just as much a problem with guys as it is with girls. It all stems from a desire to have other people think highly of us and I think that the Lord has kept me a little on the chubby side the last 4 years because of the ease with which I struggle with what people think of me. I do believe that the Lord is leading me away from this sin and has been for the last 4 or 5 months, which is awesome.

Well, that's about all I've got except that I am going to see the new Harry Potter movie, don't freaking laugh, and I am excited about it.

Romans 3:20

Romans 3:20 - "because the works of the Law no flesh will be justified in his sight; for through the Law comes the knowledge of sin." (emphasis added)

In my quiet times, I have been going throught the book of Romans and today the Lord really guided me through this verse. In the past, I have really struggled with the supposed fine line between legalism and free grace and normally I would lean more on the side of free grace. I would tell myself that the Law really doesn't matter anymore and then I would come across verses such as Matthew 5:17 - "Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fufill" and I would just be right back where I started. I had kind of given up on really seeking an answer to my question. Until now, I have just sort of ignored the subject and hoped that I was treading on the thin line that I was looking for. This verse seems to answer my question about seeking to meditate on the Law. I now believe I should study and seek the Law not so that I might be condemned by it, but so that my deepest sins might be revealed to me throught the Holy Spirit. These are the sins that I have hidden even from my self and they are the most dangerous and deadly to my intimacy with Christ. I want to know these sins so that I might lay them at the foot of the Cross and so the Lord can bring me into repentance. It is for the sake of my freedom from these sins that I study the Law and not for the sake of adding another pious layer over the top of them. I pray that through this meditation on the Law that the Holy Spirit will strip away these coverings that I have so delicately and methodically placed, so that I might follow James 5:16 - "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed." The last thing that I pray is that I would not be like the people that Christ talks about in Matthew 13:15 - "For the heart of this people has become dull, with their ears they scarcely hear, and they have closed their eyes, otherwise they would see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and understand with their heart and return, and I would heal them." I hope that I would turn to him when I confront my deepest sins and not turn from him. If I were to turn from him, I would surely be completely consumed with no chance of ever being able to pull myself out. Praise God that He does not leave us to our own devices, but knows and provides for all that we need.

Purpose

I have never had a blog before and I know that that makes me kind of behind the times but oh well. The purpose behind me actually starting one of these is four-fold.

1. I really want a place where I can put down the things that the Lord is teaching me through the study of His Word and the Law. I have never been able to keep a regular journal but maybe this will go better.
2. The second purpose of this is so that I can have a place to put down my feelings and thoughts on the Lord's call for me to serve as His missionary and hopefully get some insight from others on this subject.
3. The third purpose of this thing is because I need somewhere to write about the different books that I have read, am reading, and want to read.
4. The last purpose is to just write about what is going on in my life to keep the few people who read this updated.